Teary Eyes
by Alexandra Piirhonen
Summary: Read Trembling Hands first.   With a stronger heart and a daughter, Tsukiko returns to Seireitei to get her daughter in to the Academy. But ehat happens when she meets the father of her child and the friends that thought she died several years ago?
1. Chapter 1

Teary Eyes

**A/N: **

**Hello my friends! Now I'm back and with the story I was supposed to write from the start :) I will try to make the chapters longer and more detail in the description part. I hoped you liked the prequel, Trembling Hands. **

CHAPTER 1: In to the heat

Matsumoto had succeed to bring out the lonely captain of squad 3. This was the first time in 18 years he had been out for a drink. Because after the death of the girl he loved he had never been out and only been on missions and in his house. They all took the girls death pretty hard, but Gin had saw her death before his eyes, when she tried to save him. He blamed him self. Gin sat in the corner at the bar with all the other captains and vice captains. Gin had been drinking some saké but not much. There was much song and music in the bar and they had fun.

Ikkaku and Shuhei yelled at each other and Matsumoto was on her way to dance on the table. Shunshui and Joushiro just laughed and Joushiro had a healthy look on his cheeks for once. Retsu sat with them an smiled. Gin talked to a girl near him, he didn't know her name but he liked her looks.

"Have you heard about the Chinese noble that have brought her child here to become a Shinigami?" He heard Renji tell Matsumoto.

"Ne? Don't they have their own shinigamis? Ey Gin! Don't China have their own shinigamis?" Gin turned his head towards the big breasted woman.

"Yeah and they are pretty good too, ya know"

"I wonder why she have chosen this place for her child?" Matsumoto asked out in the air.

"I saw her escort yesterday and the only thing I saw of her was her black kimono. A golden snake was embroidered on her back. The same was for the child, but she had a silver fox instead.

"Probably on of the ladies with ties with in the Snake squad."

"Ne ne," said Joushiro "We was supposed to meet this Lady tomorrow."

The talked on and Gin just listened, he wasn't with them in their talking.

"Look at them!" Ikkaku yelled as he watched to woman walked in the room. On of them were tall and slender. She had silver hair down to her waist and a youthful look to her. Her eyes was blue with some green in them. At her waist there was hanging two zanpkatous. She didn't had the traditional garment for a Shinigami. Though it was green and showed much skin, she was pretty and not sexy.

But the other woman was more mature. She had a aura that yelled respect. She was used to take control and lead Her hair was red and her eyes green. The left side if the hair reached downed to her shoulder, but the other side had many long braids. Under her left eyes she had four spots tattooed, and a golden earing. She wore the traditional shinigamirobe and over it she had a green haori without sleeves. This woman showed her arms and she had two snakes tattooed on each of them as they made their way up the arms. She was hot, she was sexy. She was IT.

They walked to a table and sat down and order something to drink. The older woman sat with her face towards the company that watched them.

"Wow..." said Shuhei.

"Yeah..." said Ikkaku.

"I want the older one" said Shunshui and took a big zip of sake.

"The younger one is quiet hot too" said Renji. But then something happened. A bunch of drunk guys entered the bar and looked around. Then they got their eyes on the women. They went there and started to yell at them for being at their table. Ikkaku and Shuhei rose, but Gin told them to wait.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Move your asses from our table." One of the yelled at them. I felt of the woman besida me was on her way to loose her temper with them. She didn't have much of that yet. Therefore I had brought her here.

"Leave us before I loose my temper!" She said.

"You? What can a child like you do?" They said and laughed at her. That were their first mistake. She looked at me and I just nodded my head. She was on her way to learn the hard way of life.

"I will show ya what I can do. Let's take it outside."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gin and the others went out as the fight was on it's way. That girl wasn't ready to fight an opponent of their strength yet. But she had courage.

The girl with silver hair pulled out her zanpaktous and crossed them as she was ready. The drunkard ran towards her in a attack. But a sudden jump surprised them all. It was so high and she landed at a good distance from him, then she attacked. Her movements were smooth and graceful. It didn't take long before she had defeated him and was on the next one. Then she came to the one who seamed to be the leader. He was tougher and more fierce. Here she got problems and she laid soon on the ground.

"You are to many years before your time before you can fight me girl!" He said and kicked her in the stomach. She didn't say anything and just took the beating.

"Hisako, retreat. He is more then you can take." The older one told her. They all looked at her. The man before them looked at her.

"The woman, you fight me!"

"I do not fight cowards" she said in a calm voice. The other woman called Hisako returned to the older ones side.

"Then you are as weak as you seams" he said. She then approached him in a slow pace.

"If you had said that, about 18 years ago. I would have believed you" She pulled out her own zanpaktou and Gin stood frozen to the ground now. He saw the emblem on the back of her haori. A two headed golden dragon. Then he even knew that the snakes on her arms were dragons. The man attacked and she blocked his attack easily. She kicked him in the stomach, so he flew a few yards from her. He just rose again and attacked. She blocked him again.

"Give it up or you will die."

"Don't come here and think that you are all mighty!" he yelled in her face.

"Suit your self." She then attacked him. Her movements was more smooth then the other one and she had a calm face.

"Keiyou dzuki hateshiganai juuman'okudo, Kasumiseirei." (Fly to eternal paradise, Kasumiseirei) Her zanpaktou turned into a whip and mist formed around her. Gin felt like his heart was dead.

Then the whip came out and wrapped itself around the arm of her enemy. It the ripped of the flesh and he fell to the ground, screaming.

"Bitch! I will kill you some day!" The mist disappeared and there she stood in all her pride. Now Gin saw that she looked just like her, but in a more mature way.

"You are to young to fight me. Came back when you have learned to walk" she told him. He rose and ran away.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I felt his eyes on my back. I felt all their eyes on me. I turned around. I didn't smile and they didn't say anything.

"Hisako, come we need to go" I said bluntly and started to walk away. Hisako walked beside me and she looked curios.

"Orrraaaa!" I heard a voice scream I turned around and blocked Ikkakus attack from above.

"You should know that your attacks from the above doesn't works on me, ey?" I said.

"You bitch! Where have you been all this time!" he attacked me again and I blocked.

"That ain't non of your concern." I said. Then I felt a Matsumoto behind me and I even blocked her attack.

"We thought you were dead!" She yelled at me. I felt my heart ache. How would I explain this to them? Then Shuhei were at it. He attacked and he almost matched my strength.

"We thought you never were to comeback!" He yelled. I fought them all three.

"Mom, do ya know these people?" Hisako asked me. They all froze and looked at her.

"Mom?" asked Matsumoto.

"Yes, she is my mom." All of them looked at me. I met Gins eyes. I sighed. I didn't want to break the news to them like this.

"Yes,s he is my daughter. Ichimaru Mei Gina Hisako" I told them. Gin just stood there and watch the girl that was his daughter, his child. I could feel his rage. I knew that he would take me to the side later.

"Mom?" Hisako asked me again.

"Those are my old friends from when I lived in Seireitei." I saw how her eyes started to look after her father. Joushiro-Taichou pushed Gin forward. He then walked towards us. Hisako looked at the man who was her father. And he also looked at her.

"He is my father, ain't he?" She asked me.

"Hisako, this isn't the time" She looked so much like her father. She had his length, his hair and eye color. Even her zanpaktou was called Ginkitsune.

"So when is the time, Mei Tsukiko?" Gin asked me and then looked at me. "So is she my daughter?"

"Yes..."

"Hi Hisako" He smirked. She did the same. They sure was father and daughter. They even had the same smile, for gods sake! They even talked the same. So it must be genetic. I just wonder where my genetic part were in her. All she had that reminded me of me, was lips. That was all.

"Hello, father." she said and bowed. It was what she was used to do back in China.

"Hisako, we need to go" I told her.

"But mom..."

"NOW!"

"Yes, your Highness..." We then shunpo:ed put of there.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I watched the moon from my porch back in the garden of our house. Hisako were asleep. She had grown so much. Had it already been 18 years since I 'died' back in China? I zipped on my tea as I walked at the porch. When I looked up a shadow fell on me. Ichimaru looked at me. He stood tall and the wind played in his hair, and clothes. He didn't smirk or smile. His eyes were shining in the dark. He was as beautiful as I remembered him. I still loved him.

"Ya came back" he simply said.

"Yes I did."

"Why didn't ya return at once... I thought you were dead!"

"So did I, Gin... So did I"

"She looks so much like me..." he told me and I knew he meant Hisako.

"Yeah she does... Almost to much. She talked like you, walks like you, smile like she even close her eyes the same way you do all the times." He smiled a little when he heard that. But then he lost it and looked at me.

"I thought your bankai killed you."

"It was supposed to, but somehow Célia and Leticia opened a garganta just in time to save me... Then I was floating in the space between Huco Mundo and the human world. I didn't know how to get out. But one morning I was back at the Forbidden City... It was hard not to return to Seireitei, to you..." I looked down at the floor.

"What gets ya to think that I will take ya back? Ya have been 'dead' in 18 years. I may have found a new girl" I felt a knife in my heart. Of course he was right. I couldn't expect him to stayed single under the time I've been away.

"I never thought that you wouldn't have a new girl Gin. I just told you that I it was hard to not return.." I turned around and walked up the garden. He followed me and didn't say anything. "Hisako has always known that you were her father. I just didn't have any photos of you, but she only needed to look herself in the mirror..."

"Why didn't ya say anything?"

"What could I say? If I told you that I was alive and you had a daughter. You would've dragged us back here... I needed to be strong. I needed to be more stronger then I was!" he smirked at me again.

"I see that ya are strong. Stronger then before." I smiled.

"I trained hard, and I loved my, I mean, our daughter as much I could. But when she became older she understood..." I turned against him and I hit my nose at his chest. I started to bleed but he took a bit of his white haori and stopped my nose bleeding with it.

"Ya are still clumsy..." He told me. I felt his warm hand at my skin. I fought the redness to creep up my cheeks.

"I don't want to be your enemy, Gin. I want to be your friend for Hisakos sake..." he took a grip around my jaw and forced me to look at him.

"ya are still cute when ya are on the brink of 'blushyness'" He stroke his thumb up and down and then he was gone. I fell to my knew and tried to stop my racing heart. He still had that special effect on me.

Why?

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gin stood inside his room at his house. His hand covered his face. She wasn't beautiful any longer. She was hot and sexy. She had attitude. She lit him on fire just by her touch, but her betrayal burned on his skin. But he just couldn't give the feeling up. His feelings were a mess. What would he do? What would he feel?

**A/N: I tried. Oh God I tried. I hope you guys like it. The reunion and the surprise. And... TSUKIKO AIN'T DEAD :'D **

**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A new captain and a new adventure**

I woke up the next morning and dressed myself. I met my daughter in the kitchen. She was already wearing the uniform for the Academy. She looked happy today. I smiled. I loved my daughter over everything else. She had been the only connection with Gin under my lonely years.

"What are you smiling about, mother?" Hisako asked. I just smiled.

"Nothing. Run along now or you will be late." I told her. She nodded and grabbed her books and after that she ran off. I stood in the doorway with a cup of tea as I saw her run to her first class. I then felt someone caress my leg. I looked down and saw the two cats, Leticia and Célia.

"I guess you want food?" I went to the kitchen again and poured up some food for them. Then I went back to my bedroom and looked into my wardrobe.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gin sighed were he stood in the Captain commanders room for early morning meeting. Even the lieutenants were there this morning so many wondered what was going on.

"If you all can gather around. I have a something to tell you all" the old man Yamamoto told them. "We are getting a new captain for the 9th squad." Hisagi looked surprised but didn't say anything.

"Then who is it, Yama-jii?" asked Shunshui. Gin smirked. He already knew who the new captain were.

"She was the Captain Commander in China over the shinigamis there. There is she known as Pan'An Long. But here she was called Mei Tsukiko" Hisagi looked chocked, but in a good way. Gin watched him with annoyance. "You may enter Mei-Taichou" said Yamamoto.

Through the gate came the same woman from yesterday. She had a traditional Shinigamirobe, but a bit modified so her arm were visible. Over it she had a white haori and at her waist her zanpaktuo were hanging. She held her head high and she had the aura of a captain. She bowed for them all.

"Welcome to Seireitei, your Highness." Yamamoto said and rose from the chair.

"Please Yamamoto-jii-sama, here in Seireitei, I'm still a Shinigami from Seireitei without any high standards." all of them smiled, except for Komamura and Soi Fon. Yamamot nodded and looked at them.

"I will now dismiss you. Gather here tomorrow at noon. Shuhei Hisagi, please show your new Captain around your quarters. He nodded and walked towards her when all the other disappeared from the room. Gin didn't like the fact that Hisagi would be her fukutaichou. But then he went out of the room.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Hisagi walked behind me as we approached the 9th squad quarters.

"Have anything changed in the quarters?" I asked him. Hisagi walked up to me and smiled.

"Not a thing. But you will need to do a changed at your office though... It's kind of crappy." I smiled.

"If you say so. Oh and Hisagi, I want you to be the lead of the news paper too for me. I wont have any time for things like that now. I really need to focus how to get things in order in our squad. I'll see you as my partner. You are my right hand, you know these people better then me. Sure I was part of them once, but that was about 20 years ago," Hisagi looked chocked as I said so.

"Are you sure Taichou?"

"Please call me Tsukiko. You used to do so once, remember?" He laughed and smiled with he face.

"Ok Tsukiko.

"I will go to my office now to start my work. Please do not disturb me." He nodded and went away. Me myself went to my new office. And the office were a total mess. It was just like if Tousen left it with a speed only the god had. I sighed and started the cleaning. Hisagi came in and helped me a little and left some papers that needed my signature. It was so much I needed to do.

After a few hours off paperwork I heard how people was noisy outside my office. I rose up from my chair and went to the door. When I looked out I could kill those who were in my squad. There my daughter stood, surrounded with guys that tried to get her out on a date.

"But please! What else brought you here if you didn't want to date older, mature guys?" One of them asked.

"I'm here to meet my..."

"Oh baby come on. You don't need to lie to us" another one said. He spanked her ass and I pulled my Zanpaktou. My daughter was unarmed. But I wasn't fast enough. Suddenly stood Gin there with the man broken arm in his hand.

"Oh I slipped." he said.

"Taichou, why did you do that?" asked another person. He lifted his eyelids so his iceblue eyes were shown.

"My daughter should not be frightened in her mothers own squad, now should she?"

"Your daughter, her mothers squad?"

"Yes my daughter and my squad. Do you have a problem with that Shinigami?" I asked as I walked towards him. He turned around.

"I'm... I'm sorry Taichou... If I hade knew..."

"You would have done this to another poor girl. Hisagi Fukutaichou."

"Hai" Hisagi stood beside me.

"Punish him after your own liking. And after that dismiss him fro my squad. I wont tolerate pigs in my squad." I said and walked back to my office with Hisako and Gin. I closed the door after them.

"Thank you Ichimaru-Taichou for that one" I said.

"Yeah thanks dad."

"So Hisako how were you your first day at the Academy?" I asked her.

"They took my Zanpaktous" she sounded devastated. Gin smirked at her.

"Ya will get them back soon you'll see."

"Ya think so,?" He nodded. They talked for a bit before Hisako went home to eat. I would stay for some more work. Gin were still there and looked after his daughter. I wonder how it would be if he had been there when she grew up. But now it was to late for that. He turned around and watch me as I watched him.

"What are ya doing?"

"I'm going through some paperwork." I told him and grabbed my pen again and started to write again. His shadow fell on me. I looked up and were surprised to see his face just a few inches from mine. I felt my pulse race and I just knew that he could hear my heart race in my chest. I felt his breath on my lips. His breathing were heavy.

"Ya have changed, ya know that?"

"And so have you, Gin... I think." His slender hand grabbed mine with the pen.

"These aren't trembling hands anymore. These hand are strong and slender, almost caressing the pencil ya hold..."

"Gin... Don't do this..."

"Do what?" He smirked and bent a few inches forward. I felt his lips at my ear. The tingling feel planted it's way down my spine.

"What about your other girl?" He clenched backwards and looked chocked. He put his hand on my cheek and his thumb moved back and forth over the scars that were hidden under a layer of makeup.

"I don't..."

"Don't play with me Gin. I'm not that young weak woman that you easily got to love you. I know I confessed to you in a strange way..."

"Ya never thought about how I felt?" he wonder and sat down on my desk. I leaned back in my chair and dragged my hands through my hair.

"I did. Many times. I was on my way to run back to you many times, but then I remembered that you never said that you loved me, even liked me. Just that that you craved me, and demanded my body."

"Do ya remember what ya said before ya 'died'?"

"That I'm yours until the end of time..."

"Yes. Ya are mine what ever ya think. I wont allow another guy to touch you..." He grabbed me and pushed me deeper down into the chair. He brutally kissed my neck and my face.

"GIN STOP IT!"

"I wont..." I slapped him over his face. He had a red mark after my hand. I rose from the place and watched him with anger. I pointed at the door with a steady hand.

"Get out. NOW! I don't want to see you here ever again!" He rose and was on his way out. But he stopped and smirked at me with his pair of blue eyes.

"Oh I almost forgot why I came here. They are making a party for you tonight at the old bar. To calibrate your homecoming" He then left. I shook with anger. How could I've not seen this before? He was just a controlling freak, addicted to sex. How could I ever fall in love with him? But my body burned with lust for him, and I hated him for that. This was my last weakness, to really be strong I needed get rid of my feelings for Gin.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Matsumoto danced on the table again and Hisagi tried to get her to stop. The other captains just laughed as their lieutenants behaved like children. Me myself just laughed when I saw how Yamachika tried to dress Ikkaku and not to get him naked.

"Ikkaku! Don't undress your self! It's not pretty!"

"Orha! Nothing ish pretty!" he yelled at his friend. The only actually child here, Yachiru, sat in her captains lap drinking a soda. My own daughter sat beside her father and talked. When they didn't they both got the scary smirk that both of them had. I still wonder where my DNA disappeared into her. She could easily been a woman clone of her father. Even though she was so much like her father, the guys looked at her. But there was only one that had caught my daughters eyes. Shuhei Hisagi. I sighed. It was kind of strange actually.

"Ne, Mei Taichou. So how was your first day as captain?" Unohana asked me and stroke the passed out Ukitake in her lap. I smiled at her.

"Very good actually. But I need to dismiss one of my squad member due to improper behavior."

"Oh, that's good for your first day" she said.

"Oy! Mei Taichou" I turned around and saw Captain Kurotsuchi with his own daughter Nemu by his said.

"What is it, Kurotsuchi Taichou?"

"You wouldn't mind if I took a sample of your daughters DNA and analyze it? It would be fun to see how much of her DNA that actually is yours" his crazy smile, scared me to be honest. But I didn't smile back.

"No need to rub it my face, ugly" I simply said and turned back to Unohana. I heard the captain laughed at me.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

My daughter had went home hours ago, and here was me. Drunk and tired, near to sleeping stage. We were very few left. Matsumoto and Hisagi had went home with Hisako. It was me, Shunshui, Gin and Kira left in the bar. I rose from my seat as I fell to one side.

"I need to get home... Have work in a few hours..." I said and waved at them.

"Good idea, Mei-Taichou!" said Shunshui and rose like wasn't drunk at all. Gin went to my side and I glared at him.

"What? I just want ya to come home safe."

"Let me be, Gin" I walked out from the bar and I could feel his reitsu right behind me. When we had come a bit from the bar, Gin grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. I could feel his strong hard body against my softer one. I felt the heat build up inside me and I started to breath harder.

"Why do ya push me away?" His face came closer to mine.

"I... I..." The suddenly I fell to the ground.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_The air was cold and the lake were frozen. A beautiful field was stretching out before my eyes... until I saw the corpses from strong men and women. The frozen flowers were stained with blood and the moons shine was strong. I could hear a wolf howl in the distance. Then I saw them. 13 women with animal fur as their armor and helmets of iron. In their hands they had a shield and a broadsword. But then I saw something I hadn't seen in a while. Their faces were covered with hollow masks. Behind them were big armies of man and women with bows, spears, axes and swords. The howl was closing in and then I saw something terrifying. A giant wolf or a Vasto Lord, with the appearance of a wolf, and he was huge! Around his neck he had a chain and he growled at them. On his back stood a man with a grand smile. He was beautiful and he looked strong. _

"_See me as the true ruler of Valhalla Brynhilde!" he yelled. _

"_We will never let you in with that mongrel as your son! Neither will your daughter Hel ever live the the prison she been sent to! And the snake you call a child of yours will be killed by my spear!" A women yelled. In her hand she had a golden rod with a tip of silver. She was the leader. I could see. "You have already lost your son Narfe, and Sleipner is under the control of Tor! Surrender!"_

"_I will never surrender! I will bring forth Ragnarök, and you all will die. And I will be the new King!" _

"_We won't let you! I do not see what our sister Sigyn saw in you! Valkyries! Charge!" I saw how they rushed to their deaths._

"_As you see are we in dire need of help from other Gods." I looked to my right and saw the woman called Brynhilde by my side._

"_Why do you need us?"_

"_Loki have become to strong for us. He have already gathered the Fenrir wolf and the Midgard Snake. He only needs Hel, his only daughter to fulfill his goal..."_

"_What do you mean?" I asked her and looked at the scene before my eyes, it wasn't pretty. _

"_After Fenrir is set free, shall three hard winters follow. After three wintersshall Tor to meet when great serpent, and Asarna King shall be swallowed up by Loki's other son.  
The daughter shall, when the third Rooster galley in Nifelheim, ascend in Nagelfar and bring the survivors gods to a new world. The rest will perish in Ragnaröks rampage ... _

_you see, it have already been two winters and two of three Roosters have already made their sound..."_

"_You will be on your third winter soon..."_

"_Please follow Valkyrie,we need your help desperately..." She looked at me with bright blue eyes. Her blond hair were braided, and she was beautiful without her mask._

"_I will bring help..."_

**_A/N: _Sorry for the VERY LATE UPDATE. I've been out of ideas, but now they returned to me. My first thought was too focus more on Tsukiko and Gin, but then I ran out of good things. Then I heard some music from my country and then it come to me! Now you guys will travel to my country, and it's mythology. The story about Ragnarök and the Gods and so on :) **

**What do you think about that idea? ^^**

**Till next time**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Valhalla**

**A/N: Hi! Now I'm back again, but I will talk more to you later :)**

"Is that all?" Captain commander looked at me. I nodded. I waited nervously. I knew this was the type of mission the was demanded for he Spirit Kings Special squad. Yamamoto looked a long time at me.

"Tell me, Mei Taichou as your experience as a Captain Commander. What would you do?"

"I would go myself to see so the mission had successful outcome. I would send my most effective squad to investigate and after that if we would any more backup I would send after rest. But not before I was sure that we needed them."

"So you would go yourself?"

"Yes Captain"

"Hm... Ok then, this can't be helped. I will grant you Kenpachi Zaraki, Ukitake, Kyõraku, Soi Fon, Ichimaru Gin and of course you yourself Mei-Taichou. I will send a hell butterfly to each of them and I would see that you leave at tomorrow morning."

"Hai!" I bowed for the old man as I walked out of his office. I walked silently as my feets walked towards the end of the hall. All captains that I was assigned were strong fighters and I really was in need of their help. And I needed to send a letter away to China. I walked silently and then I saw Gin. He was talking with another woman. I felt my heart clenched. Was she his new lover? She was pretty with shoulder long hair, and big eyes. She was blushing, and I felt irritated. Gin leaned forward so his hand was resting at the wall behind the girl. I met the girl's gaze and she whispered something to Gin. He turned his head around and I met his foxy eyes. I turned away and walked away from there.

"Tsukiko!" I heard him call my name. But I just walked forward.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The morning after, I stood before the Senkaimon and was soon on my way. Celia and Leticia waited there as well in their cat forms. I watched so all the Captains were there and they were. Even Gin with his smirking face. I felt my attitude shrunk to the ground.

"Then we are off!" We went through the gate as we started to walk. Six captains on their way to Valhalla. Kenpachi was going at the front and Gin in the back. Me myself was going somewhere in the middle. I didn't say much and neither did they. We just walked until we came till the end of the tunnel.

We passed through the gate as held our hand on our Zanpaktous. It was quiet, not a single bird was singing and the landscape were covered in fog. The place smelled of hollows. Celia and Leticia was hissing beside me.

"Mei Taichou, are you sure that we are right?" Ukitake asked me. I nodded.

"Yes we are right.." we started to walk. We saw trees and dead bodies every where. What was this place where they didn't turn into spiritparticals? I felt how my anger gather down in my stomach. Who would do this to the nature?

We came to a village that was burned down to the ground. Men, women and children was lying everywhere. Slaughtered to unrecognizable faces. I saw my own people lying there instead. I felt tears gathered in my eyes.

"Mei Taichou, come and look at this!" Soi Fon stood a bit away and I walked towards her. A huge paw print in the ground did send chill down my spine. Even if Kenpachi would stand in it, he would look tiny. This beast must be huge!

"We stay here for the day. We need to think through how we will find the other Shinigami." We made camp there and everyone was on their guard. But we also needed a guard out in the fog who could warn everyone else if something would happen. I took the third guard.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Leticia and Celia, I need you out in the fog." The cats nodded as they running away from me. The had transformed to their human shapes. I was alone and everything was quiet. But then I felt something

"Gin stop hiding" He came out of the fog and stood only a few feet away from me.

"I thought ya would be lonely out here all by ya self" I raised my eyebrow in disbelief.

"Are you sure it isn't you that's getting lonely?" He smirked as he moved closer.

"Maybe that too" he said.

"Please Gin. Just leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you anymore." I turned my back at him. Then I felt his breath against my ear and it did send shivers down my spine. It wasn't unpleasant, but arousing.

"Look at me, Tsukiko" I turned around. His fingers caressed my face and lips. I was spellbound by him. "Ya so freaking beautiful..." He whispered in my ear.

"Gin... I beg of you... You can't... Your woman..." He froze when I said that, and I almost regretted that I said those words.

"What did ya say?"

"Your woman, she misses you I guess." He moved away from me and I felt cold where I stood. "She must miss your kisses just like I did after what happened in China." Gin looked at me with pain in his face.

"Tsukiko, please understand... I never..."

"I know that you didn't had to wait for me. Because you thought that I never would return from the dead. You took your daughter away from you and I didn't say anything about that. I..."

"Tsukiko-sama! RUN!" Leticias voice echoed through the fog. Then I froze to the ground and so did Gin. A hollow howling filled the night around us. Now I felt the enormous reitsu coming our way.

"Tsukiko, what is that?" I swallowed. I had never know this reitsu before, but I knew whom it belonged to.

"Fenrir... Gin we need to get out of here!"

"Tsukiko why..." Then a giant paw came out from above and I felt how the blood disappeared from my face. But right in time both Gin and I was struck out of the way by Celia and Leticia. They,ve had turned into to their released forms. I got up and dragged Gin with me and started to run. I knew that Celia and Leticia would manged by them self for a little while. On my way to camp I ran past Kenpachi, running towards Fenrir.

"Kenpachi, get back here! You won't manage him by yourself!" But before I ever had ended that sentence he was gone in the mist. But he soon came flying and he took the mist with him. Gin stood up and we looked up. Over our heads a giant Vasto Lord stood and he had a chain around his neck. He looked like a wolf and he growled at us as he saw us.

"Run..." Gin said and we started to run again. Fenrir was soon behind us. All I thought of was that we needed to get back to camp, and how long Kenpachi had been flying. The ground did shake under our feet and I started to get frightened. What if we couldn't defeat this monster?

"Mei-taichou, Gin- Taichou whats the matter?" asked Kyôraku. His straw hat and his pink haori was painful to watch.

"We don't have time to explain... we have one of the enemy after us!" But we was interrupted by a laugh. But it more sounded as a growl. We looked at Fenrir and everyone had their katanas in their hand.

"And here I thought it was the Valkyries. But I see that I was wrong."

"Who are you?" asked Ukitake the giant beast. The beast laughed at him and then looked down at us.

"I'm Fenrir. Son of Loki and Angreboda. I'm finally set free to devour the world and help my father to rebuild it. And whom are you, intruding at my territory?"

"I'm Captain Mei Tsukiko, one of the Gotei 13 from Seireitei. We have come to assist the Valkyries int their battle against you!" The wolf laughed at me as I spoke. He smashed his paw in the ground. Now he looked dead serious, like he was going to kill us.

"If you are here to assist the Valkyries, then you are my enemies and those will die!" He howled up against the moon.

"Get out of the way!" The Captain jumped out of the way and I felt how the realsed their Zanpaktous. Fenrir was loading a cero sent it in my way.

"Hoso dan shori chikyū no hyōmen, Jigoku kara no sōtō no ryū!" (Shred the surface of the earth, _Two-headed dragon of hell!) _ I felt the power rushing through my body. I just looked at the ball of energy coming at me. Everything was going so slow for me. I stretched out Jigoku kara ni sōtō no ryū before my. The cero hit the sword with full strength. I felt a warm wind against my face, and my braids was dancing behind me. I didn't feel any pain any where.

"Is that the best you can come with?" I asked. I looked at him. He grinned at me and then he reloaded a new cero. The I felt the reitsu. He was testing us., and now the real battle was to begin. I was ready were I stood and he then realsed it. When it was just on it's way to hit me, a women stepped forward and stretched out her hand. She absorbed the cero into her own body.

"Enough brother! Leave this place and do not return here. These ones stand under my protection." the wolf looked at the women. He then snarled at her.

"I do this for this time sister, but next time I will kill them all" he then turned around and walked away. When the rumbling from him was gone she turned against me, and then saw how she looked.

Her right side was beautiful and with moon pale skin, and blue eyes and black hair. But her left sid was different, so much different. She was blue as if she had been bruised, and the hair was white and her eye was red. She was still beautiful, but very different, and I knew whom she were.

"Hail to you, Captain Mei Tsukiko of the 9th squad, Queen Pan'An Long." She layed her arm across her chest.

"Hail to you, Hel. Daughter of Loki and Angreboda. Captain and valkyrie of the house of Nifelheim." All other Captains gathered around me.

"Can we trust her?" Soi Fon asked.

"yes we can, Brynhilde told me she would send Hel to fetch us. She is one of the leaders their now after that Loki went the he went." gin nodded.

"That's good enough for me" Hel looked at him and I saw something in her eyes I didn't like but as soon as I saw it, it was gone.

"Then please follow me to the Town of Valhalla. Brynhilde and everyone else is waiting for us." She turned around and walked away and we followed her.

"She reminds me in a strange way of Retsu back at home" said Ukitake to his friend with the pink haori. He nodded.

"Yeah, you're right about that"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The big feast was at it's best. Brynhilde and I had already talked and we now knew how the situation was. I had sent away a letter to my squads back in China so they could come here so we had backup. Now people were dancing by the fire and Ukitake was lying in the knee of Kyôraku. He had just sniffed on the meed that they served us. I sat on the ground with a pelt under me. We was treated as heroes and the Valkyries served us and the leaders of the houses sat with us. I had learned that instead of just one captain and one lieutenant, they had leaders and valkyries. The leaders didn't fight and didn't have any special power, but they were god at warfare. The valkyries were the fighters, the Captains, and the shinigamis, but also the servants of the leaders. I shook my head. I found their culture rather strange, but they accepted ours so why wouldn't we do so? One of the leaders sat beside me. His name was Thor and ruled over the house of Möjlner. His father was the king over the houses.

"So you mean that the Valkyries, I mean, shinigamis rule and fight? I found that hard to believe." I raised an eyebrow.

"And why that, son of a king?" I asked.

"A strong fight can't lead and fight at the same time. We believe they lose their strength that way." He then looked at me. "Though I believe that you can manged that without you loosing any strength." I smiled. Even though I was a captain, but I was still a women.

"Hey! You can ya move? I need to talk ta my co-worker." I sighed. I knew Gin would react, but it irritated me much that he couldn't leave me alone when he had that pretty girl waiting for him home in Seireitei. Thor looked from me to Gin. He then nodded and rose from the seat. He then looked at me.

"I will return after tho talk a bit more about your culture." Gin glanced at me with an blue eye through a glitch. He then sat down and looked at me.

"What do you want, Ichimaru- Taichou?" we were sitting in a box made of pelts and woods. These were suppose to be our beds later, and now the pelt that would cover the front was hanging at the side. Gin grabbed that and pulled it so no one would hear or see what we did.

"I want to talk to ya. And listen." I looked at him. " I don't like when you talk to any other guy, I don't like it when ya walk away from me." He took my hand an caressed it with his slender fingers. He had been drinking. I just knew that, but so had I. "I can't just sit there when I see that dickhead talk too ya... Ya belong to me!" he now looked at me with serious eyes. Their blue color was no longer warm but cold. It sent a chill down my spine.

"Gin, I... I can't... It isn't right anymore. I need to take care of out daughter when we come home, rather IF we come home." He then threw a book to me. I picked it up. It looked like a album.

"Gin what is this?"

"Take a look. Everyone made this for me when we thought that ya had died." I opened it up. And there was photos of me when I first had met Gin. I felt the tears gathered up as I saw how painful it must have been for him to watch these as he thought that I was dead, when I in fact lived a healthy life in China.

"Gin... I... I'm so sorry..." He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. I got up from my seat and I went out. I placed myself in the edge of the village. I needed to think, I needed to be alone. My feelings were hard to control, and for some reason I couldn't control my reiatsu. Then I saw how the world around me went black. Whispers in the dark, and one pair of glowing eyes int the dark, a hiss and a smooth laughed, a woman's laugh.

"Poor little one. Left alone and no one to help you now. You are in my realm." I pulled my zanpaktou and held it horizontally in front of me. 

"Who are you?" I asked as I tried to have my reiatsu under control, but it was as if someone drank from it. the woman laughed a giant head appeared from the darkness. A snake with colors like the rainbow, but her eyes were full of evil and now I felt her reiatsu. It pushed me down to the ground. 

"I am the Midgard Serpent. Loki is my father, Angreboda my mother, my brother Fenrir and Hel is my sister. I wind myself around the world and suck out every ounce of reiatsu as I can. Your will make me stronger." 

"Not if I have something to say! Bankai!"

Back in Seireitei, a young woman screamed out her fears. In a dream she had seen her mother release her bankai. She got up from her bed and dressed her self. And she disappeared into the dark.

**A/N: Hello everyone! I am so sorry for long wait for the update. Honestly, this chapter was a hell to write and I have had so many examinations that have come in the way. I'm so deeply sorry for this. But I promise that I will update as soon as I can.**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4: In the darkness between us**

"Bankai!" the earth beneath us shook and my reiatsu embraced me. When the transformation was complete was a dragon behind me and I was covered in an armor that came from the ancient kingdom I have ruled in. I looked calm on the snake in front of me. "Kage to h,-sei to shi no-ryū" (Dragon of yin and yang, life and death) I heard my dragon behind me bellowed against the big snake. last time I used my Bankai for defensive purposes, I had almost died if it were not for Celia and Letetcia. but during the 18 years I, as I have been away from Seireitei, I had trained my Bankai, but I still had a long way to go . I knew when the other captains approached. Gin reiatsu was in an uproar when he came up with the others. He face was pale when he saw that I was in my Bankai. 

"I see you been reinforced. But I do not think it can prevent me from stealing so much reiatsu as I can." I stared at her coldly. 

"Before you say too much, then you should get past me first!" I sent out my arm as a sign that the Kage to h,-sei to shi no Ryu, could go to attack. The dragon was not slow to obey and the elongated body sat in the neck of the snake before she even had time to blink. she hissed and screamed and she wagged her tail as a sign of irretation. Gin came up to me with Shinsou in his hand. 

"Ya have mastered your Bankai, I see" 

"I do not know if I can say. I have much to learn about him before I can ... MOVE! GIN!" we had been negligent, and the snake had taken heed. A ball came rushing towards me and Gin. I threw myself to Gin flew out of danger. But instead I was hit. A barrier was created around me and the Midgard serpent, and I could feel all the reiatsu disappeared from my body. 

"TSUKIKO!" I heard Gin shout at me. What was it that was happening?

"Can I not get everyone else, I at least have your reiatsu." Then I saw the threads that went from my body to the snake. She looked like my reiatsu, and I could feel my body became weaker. Then everything went black before my eyes.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_I was floating in the darkness. What happened? Where am I? It is so warm, so warm. Why is it so loud outside this cover? Why are you screaming? I'm okay can't you see that? Just leave me alone. Please, just leave me..._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Hisako ran through the Senkaimon. She just knew that her mother was in danger. How could they let her wander of by her self? Idiots! When she came out on the other side, she felt her mothers reaitsu and it was fading. She felt her fathers reatsu too, fighting trying to protect her mother. She just shunpo to faster reach her mother. Her zanpaktous had come to her aid, and she pulled them out. When she reached the village, she saw a giant snake, absorbing her mothers reiatsu. The captains that had followed her mother, was now trying to break through the serpents barrier. Hisako crossed her zanpaktous and jumped against the barrier.

"Sutīru karera no tamashī, Ginkitsune!" (Steal their souls, Silver Foxes!) They transformed. "Kinzoku no bariaburēka!" (Barrier breaker of metal!) Her sword fell down into the barrier, and she filled them with so much reiatsu as she could, and then let loose the attack. 

"What?" yelled the snake when cracks began to spread through the Barriere. suddenly collapsed completely and Hisako was able to get in to take her mother from the snake. Tsukikos body was cold and lifeless, her reiatsu had almost completely left her body, only a little remained. 

"Father! We need to get her out of here. NOW!" Hisako saw her father in his eyes and his face was filled with horror when he saw Tsukikos lifeless body, but it was soon replaced with anger. Hisako noticed on his entire body language how he still loved her mother, but if Hisako guessed that her mother was too stubborn to see it. 

"Hisako, take ya'r mother out of here. We must ensure that we can reach her, I come and help ya as soon as I killed the snake" he hissed, pulling his zanpaktou. Hisako just nodded and disappeared with her mother. 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gin looked after his daughter, and her mother. He accused himself that he had not noticed that the snake came closer to the village and then captured Tsukiko in its grip. Now was the captains around the snake along with Valkyrie. The snake laughed when she saw Gin.

"So you are from Seireitei, so you are the warriors that Fenrir was talking about. You seem not so strong when I took out one of your captains that simple. So much darkness that I found in her body, so much longing and yet faithfulness. so much she lacks a pair of arms around her. someone who keeps her bed warm at night. she was easy to grasp. A woman in pain, then even the pain of love is the easiest to take. " 

"Keep ya'r words drip with venom for yourself. Ya have harmed my woman, and so even my daughter. That ya will not get away with! Shoot her to death Shinso!"

His sword penetrated the serpent and she hissed out his pain. She attacked but Gin was faster than the snake. She looked after him but found him nowhere, she did not even notice that he was standing above her. His Agon was cold as ice and he smiled when he spoke the words.

"Shoot her to death shinso" The light penetrated through the snake and she fell to the ground with a crash. The vast body was still breathing but barely. Gin landed in front of her. snake looked at him.

"Now when I die I'll take with me your woman's reiatsu to the grave. Never again will you get to keep the woman in your arms." Gin stared at the snake and then handed out his hand towards her.

"Sprinkled on the bones of the Beast! Sharp tower, red crystal, steel ring. Movement and Become the wind, stop and Become the calm. The sound of Warringer spears fills the empty castle. Raikōhō!" the massive wave of energy burned a large hole through the snake. not even a final death throes came from her. After that Gin ran. He had to reach Tsukiko before it was too late. He came into the village and känmde of his daughter's reiatsu so he turned his steps in that direction. when he came into the building so was Valhalla main healer Freya and tried to help Tsukiko. Gin saw the woman he loved was in pain. Freya looked with a dejected look on him, and shook his head. There was nothing she could do. Tsukiko would die this time. Gin walked up and took her hand. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can not do anything for ya." Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and met Hel's gaze. 

"There is one thing left to do ... But then you need to be on it then you are her closest. We will turn her into a Valkyrie." Hisako looked at Hel. 

"What does she mean by that father." Gin looked at Hel and he just nodded. "Father what does she mean?" 

"They should make her a vaizādo. Half hollow and half Shinigami ..." Hisako just nodded then. 

"Only it saves my mother" then she turned around.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_I was now standing on the ground while I heard someone screaming behind the curtains that I could not see. Then footsteps echoing in the darkness. I turned around but saw no one. I noticed that I had a chain of fate attached to my chest._

"You do not have long to live." I looked back on. it was the Entire who stood before me. where had she come from?

"Where are we?"

"Within you. You will survive, hopefully." I saw that she was holding a scythe and her reiatsu rose around her. She swung her scythe and suddenly she cut the chain that was stuck in my chest._My chain started to destroy itself and I felt panic spread throughout the body. OMN chain ran out, I would become a Hollow. Why did she do this? Then came an incredible pain again and I saw myself urifrån. I was about to be covered by the mask Hollows wore as compensation for their heart. I refused, I was not going to succumb. I would not!_

_I let my last reiatsu protect me while I tried to push aside my new instincts that come in waves around me. My mind was clouded, but far away, I felt light, feeling warmth of someone's hand. Then a cold laugh, and forgetfulness swept over me. Who was I, where was I and how did I get here? What was my purpose?__I heard heavy breathing and someone whispered in the dark.  
_

_"Eating souls is your purpose, pulling them down into destruction, to prevent their further journey ..." It sounded familiar. But something gnawed at my mind. Something I should remember.  
_

_"Do not fight your desire to devour them. Just let it go ..." I did as the voice said, and I opened my eyes._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Hisako looked directly at Hel that something had not gone as planned. She opened her eyes and looked at us. 

"You must leave us. She has allowed the Hollow side of her taking over" Hisako felt how the color left her face. But she was not going to allow these women to stop her, it was her mother and especially her queen they were talking about. Hisako was already at a young age been entrusted her mother's safety and health. 

"I do not leave my mother!" 

"Hisako" said Gin, and put his hand on her shoulder. "We must let them do their job." She glared at his father with cold eyes. Gin noticed that she was his daughter in all aspects. 

"Mei Tsukiko-sama is first and foremost, my queen, and next to it, my mother. I will have to answer if she is injured or dies. So please do not tell me to leave my queen's side!" Gin let his hand fall. Hel looked at her with new respect. The woman had all the parts that she needed to be a great Valkyrie one day. Further, she did not consider before Tsukiko suddenly opened her eyes and her eyes were cold and black. The yellow eyes were dangerous and predatory. She screamed before she stood up.

Her body was covered by the white bone, which then would be her shield. She pulled her zanpaktou and swung it. An incredible power of reiatsu came towards them and Hisako drew their swords and took the brunt with them. Tsukikos strength and speed had increased and she was now in the Gin. He flew through the wall and she laughed hysterically. 

"More! Give me more!" she cried with an icy voice. Whole started talk in their language.

"Under Yggdrasils grenar. Mimers brun, de offrades visdom, de maktlösa rimtursarna. Skänk ditt skydd. Besvärjelse nr 56, Den yttersta dagen!" (Under Yggdrasil's branches. Mimer's Well, those were sacrificed wisdom, the powerless giants. Donate your protection. Incantation No. 56, The Last Day) A shield appeared in front of Gin when Tsukiko attacked him again. Hisako felt the fear that her father would be hurt. So Hisako cried out against her mother. 

"My queen! Stop!" Tsukiko turned her face towards her, her attack had ceased. 

"Who are you?" she hissed. 

"I am Ichimaru Mei ginna Hisako, your bodyguards and your daughter!" she cried. Tsukikos body had started to have a more dragon-like form. 

"My ... my daughter." she let her zanpaktou fall and she grabbed her head while she screamed. Her memories were coming back. Bone mass is lost slowly but surely until it remained only a little left of a mask on her face. Hisako approached his mother. But Tsukiko stretched out his arm towards her. 

"Do not come closer ... I ... I do not know if I have it under control yet." Suddenly, stood Gin beside her. He just stood there and offered a silent support. Tsukiko looked up to him and so she sat for several minutes, until she stood up. She staggered and Gin took her. He held her only. Hel came up to them and laid a hand on Tsukikos shoulder. 

"If you think the worst part is over, you'll be surprised. Now we workout for you to master your new powers. Rest now Valkyria Tsukiko. Tomorrow begins gravity. Tsukiko just nodded. Hel and Hisako left them alone.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gin was sitting next to me while I tried to sleep. Failed. There was so much was going on in my own mind. So much had happened in one day and I did not know where I would place everything. Freya had healed my injuries and helped me restore my reiatsu. I was now at a normal level and I felt tired walking into. I looked at Gin, he looked into the fire in the lonely room. none other than we were here. 

"Gin" 

"Mmm," he said. 

"Forgive me, as captain, I should not have lost control like that, I should not have left the village at all." He looked at me. 

"But now ya did it. And it's not yar fault. I drove ya away from me from the beginning. I'm sorry ..." He got up and looked at me. "It is time that ya get yar sleep." He turned to go. But I grabbed his arm and looked at him. 

"Don't go ... not yet ..." He looked at me and I looked in his eyes that it hurt him. But then he smiled and sat down again beside me. 

"Much has happened during these 18 years, right?" I nodded. 

"Too much. I regret that I have not returned to Seireitei. But I had so much to take hold in China and then raise Hisako it. Sometimes I almost wished I was back, that none of this had happened." I looked up at him. "I wanted to come back as a strong woman. Someone who you could be proud of." He stroked my cheek.

"I've always been proud of ya Tsukiko-chan. Lie down. Sleep, we'll talk more tomorrow," He sat quietly while I fell asleep with his head in his lap.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Loki looked through the mirror. The woman had strength and she was also beautiful. She was a worthy place as his queen in the new world that he would create. He smiled to himself. She would just be a little stronger, so that she could master these forces that she possessed. He stressed the mirror surface. It was long since he felt the desire for a woman, and after his son Fenrir came back and told this woman of strength as great as his own, he became curious, and after watching her daughter die, and also noticed the strength she possessed, his passions run high. He would give her Valhalla, he would give her the world.

"Sleep well my beautiful. Tomorrow begins your training and I suspect you will master these forces very quickly. Then I'll come for you"


	5. Chapter 5

**My dear followers. It ahve been far to long since we last met or heard from me. My life have been up and down since the last published work. My boyfriend left me, exams and death in the family and amongst my firends, theirfor have the writing of Teary Eyes stayed still, until a couple of days ago when a person favorite my story Trembling hands. After that I started to read what I've been writing, and now I'm back and will end the story for you. I decieded to rewrite chapter 5 cause I got the feeling that it would'nt lead anywhere, therefor I give you a new chapter 5 and a story that will keep on going for some time. I will try to post every week now. Nice to see you again!**

**Love/ Alexandra**

**Chapter 5 – Divided**

I looked at Brynhilde with my zanpaktou in my hands. My mask was not strong enough. All Valkyries could keep their mask on as long as it was needed while I could only hold it for a few minutes. It was difficult not to let the dark side take over my mind.

"Tsukiko, you need to let go of control, only then can your inner conflict with your other selves!"

Brynhilde looked down at me from the rooftops. Damned woman to be fast. Her golden curls fluttered in the wind. Her distorted voice was strong but hard through the mask. I clenched, this was completely new to me. Never had I imagined that I would become a Vaizado and try to catch all the knowledge before we set off after Loki.

"Again!" shouted Brynhilde through the mask.

I pulled my hand over my face, just like if I were to pull off a piece of cloth. I felt my reitsu grew in strength and how the darker part of me came to life again. I held out against it while I concentrated on Brynhilde. I gave myself to her, and my speed increased more and more. She met my sword without much trouble and pushed me away. I gave myself after her again and this time met my sword her with greater force and my energy was moving around the sword in whorls. This time I got her to back down from her position. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me through the mask.

"Drop the control! You need to drop it!" she hissed at me.

"Never!" I hissed at her.

"If you refuse to let go of control, I'll force you!" As if by magic the woman's strength increased to several times my own capacity. With only a swing with her broadsword she sent me flying over the village. I hit somewhere off in the woods. I could scarcely get up before she was there looking down at me from the sky. My mask was gone again but Brynhilde stood proud and confident in her role before she let the mask fall off her face.

"If you do not give up control, you will never be able to become strong! By meeting the internal fear, let it go berserk then you realize what it means to be a Valkyrie! AGAIN!" Our masks returned to their faces, and this time the anger was the dominant feeling in my body. The woman above me made me furious and I refused to let her win this battle. I let my zanpaktou go into shikai form.

"Come!" she screamed at me and I was not slow to obey. I felt the anger filled every muscle in my body and how it made me stronger. Damned woman to provoke! She laughed at my attempt to get at her. this laughter made me furious. My usual controlled self was blown away, or so she hid behind a tree somewhere. I yelled out my frustrations on her and now her eyes smiled at me.

"That's the spirit! Let the anger consume you!" I attacked again and this time I sent her flying over the village and into the mountain that protected the village from invaders from the north. I gave myself after her.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Hel sat quietly and drank tea with Gin in the courtyard outside her residence. She did not even look up when she felt Brynhilde came flying over the village the second time this morning.

"She's getting strong, Tsukiko, but she lacks the ability to unleash into berserk." Gin looked at Hel.

"What does it mean to go into berserk?" he asked with his shrewd eyes. Hel looked straight at him. Her misty but still keen eye gave him a shiver.

"Berserk is the strongest weapon a Viking and Valkyrie have against their enemies and giants, it allows us to gain tremendous power and unleash the inner warrior who controls the warrior soul. We lose all control and attack our enemies in an uncontrolled rage" she said and took another sip.

"It sounds dangerous, just like the 'Valkyrie' we have at home. But losing the control causes them to turn into monsters. They are more like Hollows then humans" said Gin and he took a sip. A deafening bang was heard. dust and wood came flying. Hel just brushed away the junk before she saw Tsukiko leave after Brynhilde with a roar. Hel looked up over the carved mug with horses and warriors.

"There is an important but little difference between us and those monsters who lose control totally." she replied quietly. Gin looked curiously at the black-haired and mysterious woman in front of him.

"And what is this crucial difference?" he asked.

"The difference is difficult to explain to a non-Valkyrie, but I'll try. When we first get the title Valkyrie we are divided. We have three minds, our own consciousness, the darker and what you are calling for zanpaktou. We are divided in three and can not cooperate. Just one in control at a time. however long ago it was a Valkyrie who found a way to bring them together. "

"You mean you ..."

"We cooperate with all three. A shinigami, only work with one of these and it is your zanpaktou, but still, you are divided., We become one with all of our consciences. Unfortunately, many Valkyries die during the process and they reach never the full status comes with being a leader Valkyrie. many turns into the hateful monster we are fighting and we can not let them live, but they die when this happens. "

"Dying in the process? What do you mean by that?"

She looked seriously at him.

"They can not take the test ahead of them. They are not enough that they can regain control after they become a Valkyrie, but they must also pass the test the goddesses of destiny give them" Gin sat silent. That meant that Tsukiko would undergo yet another test of strength so that she could call for Valkyria, but there were many who died. Hisako came and interrupted his musings.

"Father, patrols are done and we have received news from Sereitei. They send reinforcements to us. Their view is of that Valhallas destiny is in our interest. If this place falls, the whole world be weakened. Same applies it to China. They will come . "Gin nodded and stood up.

"I must thank for the chat Hel-sama" she nodded to him and looked up at the sky.

"I hope she survives the test," she whispered quietly.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I breathed out after the hard workout. Brynhilde had gone out to her dwelling. I was still sitting on the stairs in the house I got myself assigned. fatigue felt throughout the body, and the day had soon come to an end. I did not understand everything they were talking about when it came to being a Valkyrie. For me it was unknown. the only one that came close to it all that I went through was Kurosaki Ichigo. But him, I had only seen from a distance and then Aizen had fallen 26 years ago, I had not seen him at all. I sat quietly and thought about everything that had happened to me in recent days. I had a hard time grasping it all. It was too much. I let out a sigh and a movement caught my interest. On the other side of the courtyard stood Gin. He just looked at me and I looked at him back. He said nothing and he did not move. I looked away, could not meet the ice-blue eyes nor dried I speak with him. I got up and went into the main house. Inside of me I washed and changed into a clean clothes. My daughter came to me and looked at me.

"My queen, they intend to keep a feast to honor their traditions here. I think they call it the Midsummer celebration. They want us to attend." I looked at her. My beautiful daughter, so strong and mature. I could not understand that time has passed so quickly that Gin never got to experience the time when she was a child. But the choice I had made.

"Clearly we are going to attend." She told me about the news from Seireitei and China. This pleased me. She then disappeared to prepare for the party. I myself was going to attend as I was because I was a captain, and I thought the show from my best side. The time passed quickly and soon I could hear people partying and I gave myself time out. Before I even had time to get outside the door came Brynhilde and pushed me back into the house.

"Here," she said and gave me a heavy bundle of clothing. "Now that you have become a Valkyrie is just as well that you dress like us. Anyway once you are here," she said and smiled. The woman in front of me was so composed and beautiful in the dress she was wearing. The brown golden hair sat in a hard horse tail on the back of her head. She helped me with the suit. I felt it would be impolite to refuse her gift. Meanwhile, I asked her to talk about what midsummer celebration meant. She laughed.

"It's the day of the year when the sun never goes down and it is the day we celebrate all that life has come back to the ground. We honor the gods and goddesses that allows its vitality flowing into the earth and we participate in their celebration. We honor them in this way and hope that luck will come back to us next year., we also let the blood of a bull float into the ground. "I blushed to the past, she said. A celebration to sleep with other people. These northerners were more different than what I thought.

"So, now you're done!" said Brynhilde and picked up a bronze mirror. I looked at myself. A breastplate covered my breasts, but not much but enough that nothing would be seen. Around höftet I wore a beautiful wrought metal band with a light but thick fabric that hung from it. A jacket was hanging from my shoulders that I would not freeze during the evening. I felt naked, but the suit was to move in, and now I saw that Brynhhilde was dressed in the same stance.

"Take it easy Tsukiko-sama. You are not the only ones who are dressed this way." she said, and winked at me. I smiled. I realized now that all the Valkyries were dressed this way and that we were the ones who led the party. We went out and we met with glances as we approached the big bonfire. I looked up to the sky, dusk, but the screen still had not gone down and it was hot out there. On a raised podium stood a long long table with all the leaders of the different houses and in front of them on the ground stood Valkyries out the house they belonged. Oden sat in the middle with his ravens on either side of the chair in the middle of the place burned a fire whose lågot went high into the sky. the air was filled with the smell of food and drink and t murmurs were heard everywhere as people gathered to see against their leader. An ox was tied in front of the fire, so quiet and still. Just as if it knew it would soon die in honor of the gods. Brynhilde took me and asked me to stand beside her in front of Oden. She nodded almost imperceptibly to his leader and he stood old man reminded me of Yamamoto-taichou with his gray hair and long beard. He looked over the crowd with his one eye then the other one was covered with a leather patch. honing hilde had told me that he lost it to gain knowledge and wisdom.

"my kinsmen Today we gather to celebrate the ancient tradition in memory of the gods and goddesses who are giving us comfort and success., we received guests from Seireitei that we hope will be involved in helping us fight our former mate Loki. "He nodded to Brynhilde and then he sat down again. Brynhilde stepped forward.

"Friends, Brethren, Sisters, Vikings, we are again gathered to honor the gods and welcome a new sister in our community. A woman who had come from a place far from our own. She saw in a dream our distress and determined for to come to our rescue. With him she has many strong warriors, Vikings almost "she said, and laughter spread among humans. "This sister is a great fighter and a great leader from another country. She for its own here with warriors who are also on the sacrificed herself to kill the great Midgard serpent, and because of it she got no choice if she wanted to be a Valkyrie. We made that choice for her. Today she stands here, a strong soul who train hard to become stronger. I would like to welcome my new sister Tsukiko of no house. I give her creditor to sacrifice oxen to the gods. "Brynhilde step aside and I looked at her. She looked at me and I knew I'd sacrifice oxen. I pulled my zanpaktou and walked up to the animal., It looked at me with calm eyes and closed his eyes. knew and it made it easier. Kasumiseirei I swung the sword slid easily through the ox's neck. fell head from the body and the blood pulsed out from the neck. heavy carcass fell to the ground and blood flowed out.

"Let Midsummer feast begin!" cried Brynhilde and high cheering cry was heard from the crowd. The woman apparently become my sister in this simple ceremony pressed drinking horn in my hands full of mead. During the party once tried several men catch my eye. I knew what they wanted. My daughter was surrounded by men but I looked at her she saw only a man. I looked at it and smiled. Shuhei. The warmth spread inside me when I saw with what gentle eyes he looked at my daughter. For me it did not feel strange at all. I knew what my past emotions was due and I had released them a long time ago, but my daughter seemed equally captivated by him as I was. I just hoped that he would not break her heart because then I crushed two essential body parts that he would miss ... much. I turned around and smiled. In the shadows, I could feel ävne a pair of blue eyes watching me goosebumps and it went through my body. I turned in that direction and met Gin's gaze. Even though he was talking to another woman from the village, it was me he was looking. However, I felt jealousy grab me and I turned to go. Just then Thor and started talking to me and I gladly participated in the conversation.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

My body did not feel like my own. Thor sat close to me and more mead arrived and went down into my throat. The party had begun to reach its peak and Thor had not left my side since we first started talking and now he sat uncomfortably close but I could not say. Suddenly he leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Please Valkyrie, share my bed tonight." I was stunned speechless by his question. I did not know what to say. He was attractive but not the way I wanted by a man. Suddenly Gin in front of us and he pulled me up on my feet.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Dare to never approach you my woman, the son of a king. Doing it again, you'll never be able to experience yet another midsummer. I promise you," hissed the man who held me. His eyes were ice cold, and his so-called smile would scare any man. Full Gins body radiated anger and hatred. Thor stood up and looked at me. He seemed to think about whether I was worth fighting for, but apparently not when he walked away.

"What do you think you're doing!" I hissed and pushed him away from me. I went from the place of people who were filled with drunkenness. Gin followed me and when we got into the woods, I turned towards him.

"I rescued you from making a huge amount of mistakes." he said quietly to me while he looked at me.

"I can handle myself. I'm not your property even though you seem to think I'm there!" I watched as his eyes went cold as he looked at me.

"Remember the promise you gave me Mei Tsukiko. You are and will remain my woman" I got angry.

_/ how dare he! /_ I thought as I tried to pull myself together.

"I'll never be your woman! Do not you see that we are too different now if we are to fit together, I am a different woman than you knew! And I refuse to be a woman you are with and whose bed you then leave behind you made your you are too controlling, too stubborn., we have a daughter together. the only thing we have in common now is that we are parents, nothing more! "He looked contemptuously at me.

"Who was it that left whose bed like a slut and then left me completely unaware? Who was it who have been and are doing what, Tsu-ki-ko?" he asked coolly. I got goose bumps from his cold gaze on me. But the anger soon became of them and I saw as cold on him.

"Once I did it for you, so that you would be proud, but I have long ago realized that it was not going to work for us again. Never, ever again. Dare never come near me again Ichinmaru Gin, or otherwise you force me to kill you! "I hissed at him.

"You never bejövt do anything for me and I do not want to do that either. Take it easy Mei-Taichou., I would never come for me to touch a promiscuous woman. Never." he said and turned and walked. Remaining stood me in my solitude and looked up to heaven.

_/ This is what I wanted, right? /_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The next morning woke Brynhilde me brutally.

"Dress yourself and walk with me in silence Tsukiko." I did as she said. While I was behind Brynhilde, I did not notice where I went. The day before and after my Gins quarrel I had seen him with one of the Valkyries. When he saw me, he looked at me with eyes full of disgust. He had not looked at me again and I felt the knife was turned on within me. Why did I say those things? but now it was too late and we would never be anything other than work colleagues and parents to our daughter. I drew quivering breath. It hurt so much inside me.

"Here we are now," said Brynhilde and I looked up. We stood in front of the entrance to a cave.

"In this Grotte will your fate be decided. If you will join us in full or you will fall from your honor."

"What do you mean?" I asked as I looked into the cave's darkness.

"In here, we will see if you will be able to collaborate together and become one with yourself," said Brynhilde and turned around and left. After a few steps, she stopped and said, "Hope to see you again" then she disappeared. Alone, I stood there and looked foreward. I took a deep breath. Then I took the first step into the cave's darkness.

**A/N: Finally a chapter I can work with and that I'm proud of. A story that I can develop and continue a bit futher then before. I also hope to make my chapter longer and more detailed when it comes to thoughts and emotion, but also when the action is happening. What do you think about this chapter? :) I would love to hear what you think after a so long time.**

**Love/ Alexandra**


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